The System

Great teams last week. All rallied together, stuck together. Yesterday, our peds nurse and peds anesthesia (leaders of med & surgical teams respectively, but no prior acquaintance) worked calmly and confidently together to resuscitate a premie. Completely in sync. Our Haitian staff stepped up to the plate to run our improved clinical flow. It was a privilege to watch. They "own" their work. They care.

Rode on the back of the surg team's truck as they departed for their private flight home. I was supposed to have a rendevous in PaP but was canceled last minute, so ended up at airport. Fine, would be helpful, I assumed, as the ND plane was bringing in another 2000+ lbs supplies. I was naive.

Our Haitian program administrator and I stood in the warehouse terminal as the goods were brought in by airport staff. And quickly... they started asking. Tents. Please give me a tent. Give one tent, to me. Then I made a stupid young white girl mistake, nodding to our Admin "He's in charge."

That changed everything.

They hounded him--not physically threatening, but with angry implications: he is Haitian and he won't help other Haitians. Nothing farther from the truth.

He yelled the explanation to me in English. So I jumped to try to regain control, as forcefully as I could, speaking angry Kreyol. And he launched into a speech (a beautiful one, actually) about all he and his Haitian compatriots did for Leogane when there was no help. They made the first planes land, and they've kept it going since then, with no rest.

None of his valor or compassion shielded the blows now. It wasn't fair.

We made it to the truck, and loaded. Kept track of everything. I tipped as well as I could. Outside, the police hounded us. Same questions. Why must a little blan girl, me, have to stand in the center of a police huddle: practically yelling that it's their job to protect, that the whole country is kraze nèt, broken, and that the supplies were going to people in need?

They accepted. Perhaps were never truly agitating. But damage done, nonetheless, to a person who has only ever wanted to help.

And why only an etranger, a stranger, in this land has authority?

White.